Change is hard

In many ways I feel like this season of my life has been full of change. My world changed when my oldest daughter got married and left home. My world changed when my mom suddenly passed away. At work we are restructuring, we are moving to a new location, we are growing rapidly. So much is changing. I can’t get a grip on what life will be like 6 months from now. It is all continuing to change.

I love routine. I love eating the same thing for breakfast every morning. I love the order I do things when I get up. I love saying hi to the same people every day as I walk down the hall to my office. I like the simple act of turning on my computer and then pulling up the window shades. I really enjoy the simple routine of getting home from work, petting and feeding my dog, then walking outside with her into the yard and taking in the sights, smells and sounds. I do this every day. Routine makes me feel safe, grounded. I think God made me for some kind of routine. It just feels good to me. I often envy those people who long for adventure and routines don’t matter to them. I think at a very basic level I hate change. It’s hard for me.

As good as if feels to have things stay the same, when things are static it can mean they aren’t growing. When something isn’t growing, it might actually be dead.

I love this Henry Nouwen quote:

“The Greek word for faith means to trust – to trust that the ground before you that you’ve never walked on is safe ground. God’s ground, holy ground. Walk and don’t be afraid. Don’t want to have it all charted out for you. Let it happen. Let something new grow. That is the walk of faith – walking with the Lord, always walking away from familiar places. Do you choose life? Or are you choosing death, that fearful place where you hang on to what you are most familiar with? Ecstatic living, real joy, is precisely connect with stepping onto unknown ground, trusting that you are in safe hands.”

Change is definitely very hard. But it also very good. As my husband often quips “if it hurts, its gotta be good!” (I hate it when he says that!)

Consumers Beware…

I have been thinking alot about consumerism lately. We’ve been talking at church about “consumer Christians” – how we try to create services, programs to please the consumers out there looking for a church to meet their needs. That’s the way of America – if you have a need, get it met. Life is all about getting my “needs” met. In fact, the way of America is to create felt needs so you can make money meeting them. Our whole culture is built around consumers.

Think about it. We live as if we were meant to have things whenever we decide we “need” them. If everyone is getting something, the idea gets started and you are “nobody” if you don’t have one. This starts at a very young age. On-demand feeding of infants is the beginning (now I am not saying that is wrong, it just starts the ball rolling is all.) Then it becomes needing certain toys, then certain “brands” of clothing, then more toys, then certain cars, then certain kitchen appliances. There is so much “stuff” that we need. (See my past post on “stuff”.)

I recently read an article by Kurt Armstrong found in Radix Magazine. “Consumerism is a tree of death upon whose fruit we gorge ourselves, and no amount of pruning its branches or raking the fallen leaves can curb the real effects of our addiction…Corporations have the large share of the blame, foisting upon the vulnerable public the supposed need for an endless line of unnecessary goods…we consumers are as much to blame…the corporations thrive and fold according to the laws of supply and demand…”

So I looked in my closet the other day. I am tired of my winter clothes. I feel like I wear the same thing every day. Why is that? I don’t! I don’t usually even wear the same thing more than once a week, or even once every other week. Who is telling me that I need more clothes?!

Then I looked around my bedroom. We have the same furniture that I got when I was 16 years old. (I am 50, so that was a LONG time ago). It is perfectly functional. But sometimes I am kind of embarrassed at how junky our furniture is. Why? Who cares? Very few people I know go in my bedroom anyway.

I was looking at a friends blackberry the other day. Very cool. I think it would be great to have one. Then I started thinking about wanting an Ipod. I don’t have one yet. It would be very fun to have one. I love new “toys.”

There is a part of me that doesn’t even want to write this because I really enjoy being a consumer. And I am not saying we should never buy things. But I wish there was a way to get encouragement for not consuming so much. That instead of saying “did you get a new sweater?” we could say “you look so good in that worn out sweater that I think you should wear it more often cause I really like it!”

I wish someone would tell me that they love our old beater furniture, or our car that is starting to look retro- (1993 station wagon). Or that they think its great that we still listen to CD’s the old-fashioned way, on a CD player. Or that a I am cool even if I don’t have a blackberry.

Kurt ends his article: “…imagine that you are satisfied. Imagine that you already have everything you need. Imagine that your car is not a fashion statement… Imagine that you might express more to your lover by sitting face to face in silence than you ever could with a diamond bracelet…imagine dressing differently than the people on television; imagine not even buying a television…imagine how good your life actually is, not how much better a billboard makes you feel that it’s supposed to be.”

Guess what? I am satisfied. I have more than I need. What about you? Anyone want to join me in consuming less and living/loving more? If we work together maybe we can fight the consumer mindset somehow. Though I must admit I am not sure how. It feels a bit like swimming upstream in a strong current.