Listen up!

I’ve been thinking about how important it is to “listen up” as I try to listen well in my conversations. By listen up I mean – listen to God at the same time as I listen to someone else. Multi-task, so to speak.

I sometimes am compelled to listen because I think I can help. (How subtly it becomes about me. )The truth is, God is working in each person’s life long before I come on the scene. Instead of focusing on what I might say that would “fix” them, I should focus on what God is doing in them – without me.

If by some chance I am able to say something helpful, it’s because God is at work, not because I am so incredibly insightful. When I take the pressure off of myself to be helpful (fix the person) I can really listen rather than prepare to speak. At the same time  I can listen for a nudge from God to say something, instead of working out the fix in my mind.

Sounds really good on a blog. Much harder to do in a conversation, oh great “fixer” that I am! I think God is probably a much better “fixer” than I am. And can discern much better what, if anything, needs to be fixed.

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” – 2 Corinthians 3:18

What does success look like?

I’ve been thinking a lot about success lately. We often ask the question “What does success look like?” or another way to put it “Define the win.” A friend of mine said recently that she thinks success is an American word. Very cultural. It got me thinking. What does God think of “success”. What is it really? Who cares? Seems like most people around me want to be successful. Whatever that means:

From good old Webster:

Success: a favorable result, the gaining of wealth, fame, etc.

Amazon has 819,260 books with the word success in the title. There are some great book titles:

Success: Advice for Achieving Your Goals from Remarkably Accomplished People

Effortless Success: How to Get What You Want and Have a Great Time Doing It

Secrets of Success: The Science and Spirit of Real Prosperity

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful

Stress for Success

I think of success in terms of gain – climbing the ladder, earning more, more notariety, more “success” stories, reaching lofty goals. I think Stress for Success is probably a true statement.

What is success in God’s eyes? Paul defines it to Timothy:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

In Ecclesiasties life is defined as mostly meaningless. All the things we seek after, knowlege, fame, toys, wealth, you name it…it is all utterly meaningless. Finally Solomon writes this:

“Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.”

Fear (revere, worship) God, keep his commandments. That’s a pretty simple picture. The results are up to God. Perhaps the race Paul is running, and the fight he is fighting is as simple as faithfully fearing God and keeping his commands.

Sometimes, many times, I think I make life way too complicated.

Less is more

I’ve been thinking about “less is more” the last few days. In college I took a watercolor class and one of our assignments was to do a painting that was less is more. The idea was to paint as little as possible to get across an image, and the viewers mind would fill in the rest. That way more diversity came from one painting, because each person filled it in with their own mind/experience.

I’ve been thinking how this applies to ministry. How to do more ministry with less busyness. Less programming frees up people to do more ministry in daily life. Less church activity means more time with neighbors. Having fewer obligations means more time to respond to those in need. Often churches spend so much time and energy creating ways for people to minister to others. If each person stepped out and ministered to those around them, it would be more ministry with less orchestrating. Sometimes I think we measure how much ministry is happening by how much programming is going on. I don’t think that’s how God sees it. He isn’t looking at the program. He is watching the relationships, the care, the love, the acts of kindness.

Sometimes I think we suffer from the more is better syndrome. Perhaps it is a product of our consumer society. We think the more we have the better off we are. Somehow we’ve been made to believe that our worth is tied up in our material abundance. What is your net worth? And our sense that we always need to be producing something to be worthwhile. Maybe we somehow think that the more programs we have at church, the better. We do this with our kids too. The more activities they are involved in, the better people we think they will become…more versatile, more talented, more abilities. But maybe less is really more. More meaningful relationships, more calm, more in touch, more responsive, more sane.

I must admit I am a bit of a no frills person by nature. I basically hate hassle, and love to cut corners. Less is more really appeals to me, because of that. It’s possible that I am just being lazy – more or less.

Leadership Lesson #2 – Someone really ought to do something…

“Someone really ought to do something about this!” Don’t we hear or think that often? From a patch of ice on the sidewalk, to the plight of the homeless its a common refrain. I think or say it so often. And then get back to my personal agenda.

One thing I observe in my dad (another leadership lesson from him) is this common refrain. He notices so often when something should change. I guess its a leader’s job to see problems. Or even forsee problems before they actually occur. But the thing about my dad, is that he does something about them.

Last week he was talking to a company executive that is building a huge complex in his Iowa town. He listened and realized that there would be hundreds of workers coming in to build this place, probably needing places to stay for weeks on end. “Someone really ought to do something.”

My Dad is really smart. He knows he can’t do everything, but he can do something. He used to be the President of the Chamber of Commerce. So did lots of other men in his community. They are all getting up there in years, but they meet once a month or so as “past presidents”. He took his thoughts to this meeting. “if we put our heads together we ought to be able to give a real welcome to these workers, get some of the organizations to host dinners, open up more campgrounds, etc.” This group that usually just drinks coffee, have some work to do now.

We have a cabin on a lake in Northwest Minnesota. For 40 years my Dad has fished for walleye. 10 years or so ago the fishing had gone from bad to worse. We used to catch our limit easily. Now it took weeks to get a handful of walleye. “Someone really ought to do something…” My dad got some of the property owners together and the Big Pine Lake Association was born. They are working on water quality, it is improving every year. Almost all of the lakeshore owners are members. They are becoming a model for water clean-up in Minnesota.

No one can do much on their own. Yet so often we think or say the words “someone really ought to do something…” My Dad often chose to be the “someone” instead of hoping another someone would act.

That’s a leader.

There was a bad storm a couple weeks ago. My Dad’s entire small town lost electricity for a few days. The neighbors were cold and hungry. “Someone really ought to do something…” My 83 year old Dad opened up what he called a “neighborhood shelter”. He built a big fire in his fireplace, got some hotdogs. Invited the neighbors over to eat, to stay the night. He cooked dinner for them the next night too.

That’s a servant.

There is so much pain and sorrow in the world. You don’t have to look very far to find it. “Someone really ought to do something…”

Leadership Lesson # 1: ASK

I think I should start a whole series of blogs on lessons from my dad. There are so many I can think of. My dad, who is now adjusting to living without his life partner of 63 years (my mom), is an amazing man. I’ve always known he was a great leader. He was a banker who grew through the ranks in his career to be a bank president. His corporation moved him a couple of times to get floundering banks back on track. He’s been retired for almost 20 years, but he’s still a leader. He has much to teach. And I have much to learn.

So I’ll start with this lesson #1 . This lesson is about the “Ask”. I followed my dad around his small Iowa town for a few days as we planned my mom’s funeral. Each person we met during the process had a story. I’d say “Dad , how do you know him?” And he’d say “I helped Joe start his business 30 years ago.” As we traveled about town there was a theme to his stories. My dad had incredible influence, because he wasn’t afraid to ask.

When someone came to my dad at the bank to get help starting a new business venture, he would do this match game – if the bank couldn’t finance them fully he’d find other people in the community with resources. He’d ask them to help. And so often they would. He financed the family practice clinic that way. Now the town has one of the best medical centers in the area.

There was the parking lot by the church. The church was growing and there was no parking, other than this lot across the street that was about to be sold. So my dad asked the city “if I buy this parking lot and donate it to the city, will you promise to keep it a parking lot so the church can have it on Sundays?” They drew up a contract. The parking lot is there, shared by the church on Sundays at no cost to them. What a great ask (and a generous purchase, I might add, but that’s another lesson.)

There was a woman in town who had inherited millions. She loved giving. My dad loved asking. She funded so many important things in the community. He was never afraid to ask her. Then my dad asked the city to honor her with an award. They did.

My dad makes ask through the local paper. He asked his community through an editorial to approve funding for a new library. They so desperately needed it. He made a great ask. The bill passed. The library is under construction.

My dad joined the mayor on trips to ask different corporations, industries, and companies to move to their small Iowa town. These asks paid off. The town has continued to grow with some major industry moving in.

As I heard all these stories (and there are more) from my dad and the people we met I wondered how many people are waiting to be asked. To be called upon by someone with the vision of what could be. Someone with the courage to make a direct ask to a person who could make a specific difference.

Knowing how and when and who to ask has got to be a great leadership trait. Jesus did it so well: “come and follow me,” and they left everything and followed him.

Who should I be asking? Who is just waiting to be asked? It seems so simple, just ask….

What exactly is a LEADER anyway?

I just got back from my 9th Willow Creek Leadership Summit. As always it was encouraging, challenging, thought -provoking, and exhausting. There is one thing that I almost always feel after these summits. A bit of confusion. What really defines a leader? It seems the word is used over and over again, and I have trouble grasping what it really is. Because I think it is so many different things. Bill Hybels has an article about 10 kinds of leaders. I would bet there are more than that.

Here’s why I think this is important. I think we have a leadership shortage in the kingdom. So often it’s easy to get people on board with making a difference, but hard to find someone committed and willing to lead them. So often people are afraid to be the leader. Why? Maybe the word gets them. It sounds scary. After all, I am NOT Bill Hybels. Now there’s a leader for you. Or Andy Stanley, I could never be him.

So, according to every gift test I have taken I have the gift of leadership. I know not everyone does. But do you have to have that “gift” to lead something? I don’t think so. Yet I know that some people weren’t made to lead. Or were they? Some experts think everyone can learn to lead. And everyone eventually has to lead something. At least themselves. On the other hand, other experts tell you that you definitely should not try leading if you aren’t made to do it. You should be the great follower..doer. Work hard behind the scenes. But can’t behind the scenes people lead too? Are leaders made? or are they born (and then made)? Can anyone learn to lead well? These questions are always bouncing around in my head, because I am always looking for leaders.

So, I was thinking today, that we need new words. Leader is too scary for people. Sometimes the church I serve in talks about “Big L. Leaders.” These are the Hybels types that can really get a group to charge up a hill, strategize, envision, etc. They do it all. I don’t think there are too many of those. The word I like for the kind of leader I am is “catalyst.” I like to get a group around a cause, figure out how to get there together. I can get a group to gather and put their heads, time and talents together and get something done.

There is also a hat I wear “Facilitate”. Is a facilitator a leader? Sort of. They lead a process toward some kind of conclusion or clarity. Then there is the classic “visionary” leader who can get a room super pumped up about going somewhere together (but may or may not be able to tell them exactly how to do it.)

So what is a leader anyway? Does anyone have a good definition? Or new word for a type of leader? Somehow I think we need to convince more people that they can step it up and “lead”. But maybe we need a new language so they recognize it in themselves. Or not? I really don’t know. What does leadership REALLY mean? And who is called to do it? I’d love your thoughts.