I heard Miraslov Volf speak on forgiveness last night. His lecture was amazing…”Can there be forgiveness without God?” He said so many things I have heard before, but for some reason they seemed new. I look at my notes and they are simple statements that I have always thought were true. I didn’t really write anything profound.
What is it about us that at a certain place and time something that you have heard many times can hit you in a whole new way? I have heard so many times that forgiveness is a gift – that is completely undeserved. If it was deserved it wouldn’t be forgiveness. But somehow last night it hit me. I think sometimes I don’t want to forgive someone until they deserve it -until they repent, or say they are so very sorry, or admit what they have done. But then my forgiveness isn’t really a gift. They are having to pay something for it.
Dr. Volf explained that you can give the gift of forgiveness in a good way and in a bad way (just like any gift you might give.) If you do it humbly and freely often it opens a door to repentance. Perhaps only small seeds of repentance. But forgiveness doesn’t demand anything..not even repentance. Wow. So I know that. Why did it strike me so deeply last night?
I think I need to repent of demanding repentance. It’s much harder to forgive than I thought. Because I am someone who loves to hear “I’m sorry” first.
The other profound thing is that restoring a relationship is not the same as forgiveness. It is a different process – a next step – and sometimes not possible. Because relationship needs trust. And trust is broken when we are wronged. I knew that too, but somehow last night it went a little deeper. I now see that I can give the gift of forgiveness without needing to trust the person first, or maybe ever. That’s okay. That’s why they need the gift. That’s why I need the gift.
I have a new appreciation for God’s forgiveness. That he can never trust me…I will mess up again and again. So his forgiveness has to be extended all the time – my relationship with him is based on Jesus who is trustworthy.
My brain hurts!
